The Downfall of a Nation Begins at Home: Thoughts on Modern Parenting
There’s a lot of finger-pointing going around when it comes to the unraveling of American society. Depending on who you ask, it’s Gen Z, Millennials, or the Boomers to blame. But I’d argue that this slow erosion didn’t begin overnight, and it certainly didn’t begin with TikTok or participation trophies.
No, the seeds were planted long before. And while it may be easy for the Boomer generation to shake their heads at the “decline” of younger generations, it’s worth noting that it was their era that set the ball rolling. That post-war cultural shift where we began to idolize the individual over the collective, self-fulfillment over sacrifice…didn’t just change our music or fashion. It fundamentally altered the way we view parenting.
The Boomer era popularized ideas like “be your authentic self,” “you can have it all,” and “follow your bliss.” These sound lovely on a motivational poster, but in practice, they’re platitudes…empty ones at that. In the context of parenting, these ideas have festered into something dangerous: the belief that raising children is an accessory to a fulfilled life, not a serious, sacred undertaking. Children are now often viewed as status symbols or emotional bandages, and the role of a parent has been diluted into a side hustle to personal happiness.
But here’s the truth that no one wants to say out loud: Parenting is not supposed to be fun.
Sure, it has its joyful, heart-melting moments. We all have those memories…of tiny hands in ours, spontaneous laughter, bedtime stories whispered in the dark. But those are the sprinkles on the cake, not the main ingredient. Parenting is work. And like all meaningful work, it is laborious, sacrificial, and often thankless. But it is also one of the most profound responsibilities a human can undertake.
When you choose to bring a child into this world, you are not just adding a cute photo op to your Instagram grid or checking a life milestone off your list. You are signing an invisible contract—a sacred one—to guide another human being through the most vulnerable, formative years of their life. That responsibility is immense. And yet, we are a culture that has started treating it like a lifestyle accessory.
A parent’s job is not to be their child’s best friend. It is not to be admired on social media for how well-dressed or well-traveled their child is. It is not even to feel fulfilled by the experience of raising children. Fulfillment is a byproduct—not the goal.
The job of a parent is simple, though not easy. It is to:
Keep your children safe—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Feed and nourish them—not just their bodies, but their hearts and minds.
Raise them into value-added members of society.
That last part seems to be the most neglected in our current culture. We are seeing the effects of generations of parents who failed to instill the fundamentals. When my husband and I leave our home, we don’t see children being raised—we see children being tolerated. We see toddlers negotiating with parents in the cereal aisle. We see teenagers screaming at their mothers in public. We see grown adults who don’t know how to hold a conversation, who have no work ethic, no sense of responsibility, and no idea how to function in the real world.
Where are the parents?
Where are the people standing up and saying, No, you may not act like a feral animal in public. No, it is not okay that you can’t read at your grade level. No, life isn’t fair, and no one owes you anything—but here’s how you can rise to the challenge anyway.
Instead, we get excuses. We get blame-shifting. We get a society where mediocrity is accepted and personal accountability is rare.
Parenting isn’t about perfection, and it isn’t about control. It’s about guidance, boundaries, and expectations. It’s about building a child’s internal scaffolding so that, when they grow up, they are equipped to handle life. That means:
Teaching self-discipline and self-reliance.
Helping them understand that the world is not designed to accommodate their every whim.
Instilling a work ethic that outlasts childhood chores.
Developing a strong moral compass, rooted in truth, not convenience.
Nurturing their ability to communicate, resolve conflict, and exist alongside people who are different from them.
Showing them how to fail, how to recover, and how to atone when they’ve done wrong.
Encouraging critical thinking instead of blind obedience—or blind rebellion.
This is what parenting is supposed to be. And yet, what we too often see is the opposite. We see permissiveness masquerading as love. We see praise without merit. We see fear of offending children taking the place of healthy authority. We see parents outsourcing their duties to tablets, school systems, and therapists—then wondering why their children are confused, depressed, entitled, and angry.
Of course, there are good parents still out there. You know who you are. You’re the ones who correct your children in public, even when it’s uncomfortable. You’re the ones who say “no” and mean it, who require chores, who demand respect, who engage in hard conversations. You’re the ones who know that this job is hard, lonely, and unglamorous—but you show up every single day.
And to you I say, thank you. You are holding up a society that often seems to be slipping into chaos.
But we need more. We need a cultural reckoning with the truth that parenting isn’t about us. It’s about them. It’s not a vehicle for our personal healing or social validation. It’s a solemn duty, and it’s time we start treating it as such.
Because the downfall of a nation doesn’t begin with politics or economics or war. It begins in the home. It begins when we stop raising children and start raising consumers, narcissists, and victims.
