Stop Rewarding the Bare Minimum: A Wake-Up Call for Parents, Schools, and Society
Recently, I came across a “Positive Impact Wall” at a local school, where middle and high school students are publicly lauded for acts like picking up after themselves and following a teacher's instructions.
This, to me, is a perfect illustration of what is wrong with our society today. We are creating a generation that expects accolades for doing what should simply be expected of them. We are not celebrating excellence or going above and beyond; we are handing out rewards for doing the bare minimum.
Picking up after yourself? Listening to a teacher or authority figure? That’s not heroic, it’s basic decency. It’s expected behavior. It’s what every functioning member of a civilized society should already be doing without the need for recognition or rewards.
We’ve seen this mentality creep into our homes as well. Many parents offer their children allowances for completing simple chores…taking out the trash, making their beds, emptying the dishwasher. Why are we paying our children from our own hard-earned bank accounts to do the very things we ask them to do, the very things they should do as contributing members of a household?
Similarly, some parents pay their children for every A grade they bring home. Again, why? Your job as a student is to do your best in school. If your best effort earns you an A, then that A is your reward. We shouldn’t attach dollar signs to what should already be a personal and academic standard.
These practices, while seemingly well-intentioned, have long-term consequences. They lay the groundwork for entitlement culture…where grown adults believe they deserve a good salary just for showing up to work, or even worse, where they believe they are owed financial support from the government simply for existing within the borders of this country.
In reality, only exceptional performance and exceptional behavior should be rewarded. Excellence, sacrifice, innovation…those are the things that deserve recognition and reward. Not merely showing up. Not merely following instructions. When we reward the expected, we diminish the value of true excellence.
So how do we fix this?
Here are some ideas for parents, schools, and society as a whole:
1. Reframe Expectations at Home
Parents must set clear expectations that chores, academic effort, and basic responsibilities are part of being in a family and living in a community. If you live in the house, you contribute to the house. No pay, no fanfare.
Chores are Non-Negotiable: Make it clear from a young age that helping around the house is expected.
Separate Allowance from Chores: If you want to give your child an allowance, do so to teach money management…not as a bribe for doing basic tasks. Better yet, find out what they have a natural talent for and get them started with using that talent or interest to learn about business management. Our daughter loves to make jewelry, and so she makes jewelry and sells it earning her money and teaching her how to budget and manage a small business.
Praise Effort, Not Outcomes: Focus on praising your child’s work ethic, perseverance, and attitude rather than handing out cash for grades. Teach them to take intrinsic pride in their accomplishments.
2. Rethink School Recognition Programs
Schools should shift their focus away from rewarding expected behaviors and instead highlight and celebrate exceptional contributions.
Create Higher Standards for Recognition: Recognize students who demonstrate leadership, innovation, kindness in extraordinary ways, or major personal growth…not students who simply remembered to pick up their trash.
Build a Culture of Responsibility: Teach students that cleaning up after themselves and respecting teachers are baseline behaviors, like brushing your teeth or saying please and thank you.
Reward True Excellence: Encourage schools to design awards and acknowledgments that honor exceptional achievement, resilience, creativity, or community service that truly makes a difference.
3. Shift Societal Norms
This isn’t just about parenting or education…it’s a societal issue. We need a broader cultural shift.
Stop Celebrating Mediocrity: In media, entertainment, and public discourse, we need to stop glorifying people for doing the bare minimum. Save the applause for those who genuinely move the needle.
Reinforce Personal Responsibility: We should highlight and support narratives that celebrate hard work, accountability, and perseverance rather than dependency or entitlement.
Promote True Meritocracy: Our systems…from education to employment…must focus on rewarding genuine talent, effort, and results, not participation or compliance.
Final Thoughts
Children…and eventually adults…thrive when they are challenged, not coddled. They grow when they are held to high standards and expected to meet them, not when they are rewarded simply for showing up.
When we lower the bar and reward basic, expected behaviors, we do a disservice not just to the individual, but to society as a whole. We create a culture where everyone feels entitled to praise, pay, and privilege without the work or merit to back it up.
It’s time to reestablish clear, firm expectations at every level: home, school, and society. It’s time to stop handing out accolades for merely existing and doing what should be expected and start recognizing, rewarding, and celebrating true excellence.
That’s how we build a stronger future - one where individuals understand that rewards are earned, not owed.
